Meaning

“The two most important days in a man’s life are the day he was born and the day he discovers why”. – Mark Twain

Mark Twain is one of my favorite authors. He’s one of the most quotable human beings ever. I have envied his way with words for most of my life. This is quote is not his best or most repeated. It’s not the smartest or even the most humorous. I believe it’s one of his most insightful. The tricky part about Twain is that many things he never said are attributed to him. That may be the case here as well. What I do know is that if I heard Twain said it I’m more likely to listen. Sometimes the story is better than reality. It doesn’t change the point of the quote. But enough about Mr. Twain, for now.

If you’re like most people you’re going to waste a lot of your time chasing what makes you happy. I can try to save you some of that time if you’re willing to listen to what I’m about to tell you. More than likely, you’ll have to find out for yourself. In the end with is probably just “dad advice” that I attempt to give you to make myself feel better and won’t mean anything to you for years. One day you’ll figure it out. Do me a favor and call me to tell me I was right. Sometimes that’s the only acknowledgement a dad needs.

 Don’t get me wrong, happiness is important. It’s an admirable goal. Being happy is better than most other emotions you can have. The best ones are usually some variation of it. It’s also a slippery son of a gun. Happiness is more often a result of your environment. The world around you and the people you choose to spend your time with have an extraordinary impact on your happiness. That environment can change. Those people can be gone for a myriad of reasons. Things can change. Happiness can go with it. When it does you will find there is no shortage of people, programs and books to tell you that happiness is a decision you make. Some of that is true. People often choose misery in the face of abundance for reasons I could never figure out. They could choose happiness. They don’t. Life is a mystery sometimes.

But let me tell you right now, on your best day in your most prefect frame of mind, life can find a way to dump all over it. I don’t mean that to sound like downer. Quite the contrary. What I’m saying is that there is a better way to be happy than chasing happiness. It’s meaning.

So what exactly is that? It’s hard to say other that it is different for every person. Think of it as the reason you get out of bed in the morning. Happiness might get you up an going if you have a great day ahead. But what if you don’t? What if you aren’t happy right now and staying in bed all day, or all week, is starting to sound like an outstanding idea. That’s when meaning kicks in and if you don’t have it on those dark days you could be in real trouble. Happiness can come and go. Meaning sticks around.

For me, and I didn’t see it coming, it’s been being dad to you two boys. There are a lot of things that make me happy. Some are silly. Many more are profound. They are all important. You guys give me meaning and I knew it from the jump. The first time I held each of you and saw those little blurry faces looking back up at me I knew this was what I wanted more than anything. You guys are the reason I want to be a better example to you. I knew I wanted to be a dad. Mom and I planned for you guys all along. But I didn’t know how it would affect me until it happened. That’s not to say that other things in my life aren’t meaningful. Not at all. It’s incredibly rewarding to be a good husband, friend or coworker. Being good at those can make you and the people around you happy. The difference is that meaning makes you want to be better at all those things. When someone tells me that you boys are good kids of course I feel a sense of pride and it makes me happy. More than anything it gives me a feeling that mom and I are doing right by you.

But here’s the trick: if you find what’s meaningful and pour your heart into it you will most likely be rewarded with happiness. You can chase happiness and ignore what is meaningful and you may never find either. If you can find what makes you feel good deep down in your bones and pursue that you may be fortunate enough to have both.